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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "slothapus" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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08:28 am
[Link] | "i'm not in kansas anymore...."
*back in the CS living the high life? i guess....
Current Mood:  calm
Current Music: portion for foxes: rilo kiley
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01:02 pm
[Link] | I'm HOME......much love everyone!
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12:25 pm
[Link] | First let me start off...that this entry is completely me whining...though i see the logic i'm still gonna bitch because he's a jerk in spite of how he knows i feel....
My dad was supposed to come get me on Sunday. He calls me to tell me that my uncle is going to bring me home. Which doesn't seem like a big deal except that its my dad's brother. With his family, i feel every insecure. They've always seen me as 'less' than what they are. I'm the 'charity' case...as if they helped me in some way to get to this point in my life. Though this uncle is probably one of the 'nicest' ones....he's still like that to an extent. For most of my life they saw me as my father...this 'slower than average' person who was going to wind up being a no one doing nothing with my life. Things kinda changed a year ago at my cousins wedding
1. i hadn't seen them in 4 years...by choice i quit going to see them
2. this is when they found out...ironically enough...that i was not only smarter than all the cousins around my age...but infact...so far i had out done everyone in high school awards, grades, and honors.
3. It was the first time they had heard i was wanting/planning on going to college...and not a junior college..A&M.
Even though they continued to tell me..the whole time, how i shouldn't get my hopes up too high. A&M was a hard school to get into...you had to have good grades, and merit. (if you think i'm joking i'm not...they really did say this to me, many times). Needless to say..and obviously i got in and none...NONE of their kids got in here, freshmen year. All of them had to transfer here...or start at a junior college and then transfer into A&M. I was the first one...yet, i'm still beneath them. Why...because i'm my mothers child. I'm 'half mexican' which to them means 'half ignorant'. Neither of my parents have a lot of money, especially my mom. BUT we do the best we can... but thats not really good enough for them. I could become the president of the united states....and they'd probably still see me has 'half ignorant'......
*granted i see why i should ride with my uncle..i mean he is going to abilene and its very convenient for me to go...but i have to sit there for 5 hours...knowing what he really feels..because i'm not ignorant....and i hear what they say in snickers like we don't understand...and i see the they way the look at my clothes and me in general...as if i'm so poor starving dog they must pity...
*now i must get back to studying....
Current Mood:  crappy
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12:36 pm
[Link] | Its fucking cold outside...i'm tired....i have to study for finals....my fingers are cold...i want to scream....i want pumpkin bread.....and this wanting reminds me of that song..."i want you to want me, i need you to need me....blah". And supposedly i started talking to christine this morning about squash and my bank account....but i don't remember this......odd.
to be loved is to love
to want is to give
to hear is to listen
loneliness is the rejection of self
*i know i read that somewhere...because i don't have enough mad skill to make that up on my own....but i've been thinking about all of those things as of late. How being able to understand and react to any of these 'concepts' makes part of the whole.
*gah... i have no life
---->Christine's cow has horns and utters...therefore making "Bessy" a "hermaphrodite"
Current Mood:  blank
Current Music: Alvin and the Chipmunks....don't laugh
Tags: 4 days
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10:07 pm
[Link] | Today was the last day of class....happiness. I have a lot of studying to do, but other than that i'm done friday at like 5pm. So i'll be heading home to abilene for a WHOLE month at 2 on sunday. I'm really excited. Right now is silver taps..but its to dern cold/i dont' want to go. I'm a 'bad' aggie...oh well. Live, Learn, Laugh, Love....today i feel LLLLLLLLLLLLLL
*what a tuesday
Current Mood: complacent
Current Music: swallowed in the sea:coldplay
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07:40 pm
[Link] | OH MY FUCKING GOD I HAVE A SPIDER INFESTATION IN MY ROOM!!! I HATE SPIDERS MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD...AND THE EARLIEST THE WORK ORDER CAN BE DONE TO "SPRAY" MY ROOM IS WEDNESDAY......AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
* needless to say..i'm not happy about this and now my skin is crawling (2 in my BED and 2 others i've killed in my window)...its like when you hear about lice..and your head itches, well i hear spiders and my skin crawls and i can "feel" a spider on me...i know i have issues, but thats how it is
Current Mood:  distressed
Current Music: Something Corporate
Tags: omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg
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07:09 am
[Link] |
I wann rock and roll all night.....
So i've pulled an all-nighter. 1. because i really needed to study 2. i listened to Mitch Hedberg for about an hour 3. Christine was registering for classes and 4. i was busy laughing at christine and adrienne who were working on this picture:
*note the handy paintshop work of Christine to finish the picture of George "the stealing patriot" Bush...(the tie hahaha)
So now we move on to the random jokes of the evening:
Stacy:Chugga.....Me: Chugga?....stacy: fuck....adrienne: DEUCE
And for just a little while george became George "nemo" Bush...because we gave him a gimp arm to get him in on the stealing action. I have a test in 2 hours...that i may or may not pass...its still iffy.....i'm tired as hell and i've been sipping on hpnotiq (yes an alcoholic beverage....but its not even a shot..i'm a wimp/ i have a test) for about 3 hours....yay college
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: the bell tower telling me its 7 AM
Tags: sleep is wonderful..and i long for it!
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06:32 pm
[Link] | today is sunday...and it's cooler...well kinda cold now from yesterdays lovely 87 degree weather. I'm about to start studying for sociology...my first REAL final...well its actually a test. Then i have almost the whole week off until Friday when i take the rest of my finals....and i'll be home sunday! yeeessssss!
*sidenote* Chili Cheese Pringles taste like shit...i don't know why i didn't see that one coming...
Current Mood: mellow
Current Music: The Freshmen: Verve Pipe
Tags: (clap clap)
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05:01 pm
[Link] | campus is beautiful right now...in this moment i don't want to be anywhere else. The slight wind and the setting sun warmth made me feel, just for one moment, like i was back home. Spring nights outside with my mom as she planed a new toilet seat cover that we didn't need and rambled to me about how the design would look. I would be laying in the grass looking at the pink and the purple orange cloud show with brody every so often licking me trying to make me get up and play with him...to me thats the feeling of life. So for one second i felt like every thing was right again in my life. But just as fast as it came...it was gone. I realized that i have a paper to write over a movie i hate...i have finals coming up, i have to pack my stuff to go home.... I hate being this far from my family, but i love living on my own.
"i know i know for sure...that life is beautiful around the world"
Current Mood:  contemplative
Current Music: Around the world:red hot chili peppers
Tags: the past was here and gone
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01:56 am
[Link] | Its really fucking humid outside.....now that i said it, tonight was fun. I went to listen to our "aggie band" play some christmas jams..ha! but we left to go eat at rumours....i was really hungry. Then we discovered that audrae's car had been towed...but they didn't really tell her...they just said she had a ticket...whoops..anyhow so we went and ate root beer floats....but stacy got ice cream...at Bernies...we sat there for awhile...then we went and played in the MSC flag room on the rolling chairs, a dolly, the piano, and i danced like a fucking mad woman for about 20 minutes on a sugar rush (some, but very few, have had the rare privilege of seeing me dance like that...so if you wish to see me do it...hit me up when i'm drinking..or tired w/ sugar). then we left, but decided to dance like ice skaters for about 10 minutes on the sidewalks because they were wet and slick (due to the horrid humidity). now i'm sitting in my room..in a t-shirt and panties...listening to "my humps" and eating chili cheese pringles....so i would say today..today was a good day, and now it is time for some much needed sleep!
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: my humps: black eye'd peas
Tags: my lovely lady lumps check it out!
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05:18 pm
[Link] | I hate zoology
I hate 8 am classes
I hate crumbs in my bed
I hate 3" binders
I hate bags of potato chips that have a larger air to potato chip ratio
I love my chap stick
I love good smelling candles
I love my christmas lights
I love my wallet (hounds tooth)
I love my mom
*today i'm in a cosmic balance.....A P A T H Y
Current Mood: ICK AND ACK
Current Music: NOTHING BUT MY OWN VOICE
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05:14 pm
[Link] | Today was my last day of Badminton
It was also my last day in Geology lab.....
*I feel like the giving tree. I give and give, and i'm still treated horriblly by people. I try to be kind and understanding, supportive, and i try to be the best person i can be....but alas, i still get walked all over.....
*its times like these that i want to give up...and i don't know why i haven't but i think i'm getting close
Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: Vampire heart: HIM
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10:44 pm
[Link] | ok, quick random, fun stuff....laughed my ass off!
*oh that white ninja...makes me think of amy...heart + sigh
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10:07 pm
[Link] |
rulers and calculators and bullshit
Today i went to class....but not film, as to be expected. Surprisingly enough, i have an 85 in that class...and i think i've been a grand total of 8 times....interesting. Anyhow, i've been studying for finals. tomorrow is my last..and i mean very last geology lab...i take the final, and then 'bald monkey's ass' steve can kiss it, because i hate that class. i hate it so much i would rather eat cat poo than take it again. on the bus today, this guy gave me his seat. i like small things like that, it gives me hope. I'm suffering from very bad razor burn right now. Yesterday right before badminton, i decided to wear shorts, but i had dude legs because i'll admit it...i hate to shave my legs. Its so bothersome, so i just wear pants. Well my pants were dirty so i wore shorts and tried to dry shave with water. my entire right lower leg burns, and patches on my left does. Its weird, i took a shower and it hurt like a bitch! therefore if i don't have time to use shaving cream, then i'm just going to show off my dude legs. I'm trying to figure out my schedule for next semester....blah.
*p.s. Freddy i know you're reading this, now get a screenname! but i love you, and lobster except that i don't like lobster or seafood!
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: everything around me
Tags: and my legs burn, i'm tired
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03:33 pm
[Link] | twenty things to know about me: (this is just for my own pleasure)
1. I don't like the phrase 'best friend' instead i use 'favorite'
2. I secretly love to dance, but i would never do it in front of others
3. I love alot of people
4. I hate spiders
5. I like eating pop tarts cold
6. I like to day dream
7. I like the feeling of being suspended in the air
8. I think a persons laugh says a lot about them
9. It takes a lot to hurt my feelings, but once they've been hurt its hard for me to trust who ever hurt them again
10. i wanted to be a mermaid, and a small part of me still wants to be
11. i have an IQ of 165 (says my doctor report thing)...but i think that's wrong/ i think i got the easy test...
12. i see the glass has half full
13. I'd do anything for my favorite friends
14. I've been singing christmas songs since june
15. I don't like chocolate that much...it just depends
16. I hate the phrase "rock out with your cock out"
17. I laugh every time michael k. says "orange"...
18. i've almost hit a pelican with allison's car
19. I enjoy 'people watching'
20. I love chinese food
*my mom said this to me today: "REMEMBER A FLOCK OF CROWS CAN BRING DOWN AN EAGLE, BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE THE CROW GREAT, OR THE EAGLE LESS.
When you fly into a flock of crows- just fly away before they bring you down."
------> i love her so much!
Current Mood: content
Current Music: whatever is playing on christines labtop
Tags: my leg itches...freddy get a screenname!
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05:04 pm
[Link] |
thanksgiving
Thanksgiving. It was so much fun, i really enjoyed it. I got to see michael, and allison, and freddy...(and if i didn't get to see anyone who wanted to hang out, i'm sorry stuff came up). I miss home alot, but i don't. Its odd, i think i miss the people at home...anyhow. Driving back to abilene was fun, i almost hit a pelican...it was weird. these were my thoughts...
Is that a pelican?
Oh shit, thats a pelican!
FUCK i almost hit that pelican!!!!
I went out with my mom on saturday and i loved it. i think i miss her the most. then i got my hair cut...i cut off 5 inches...so my hair is kinda short (it hasn't been this short since 6th grade). I feel weird though because when i got to run my fingers through my hair...its stops so quickly. I could wrap my hair around my head once and back to my mid face....but not anymore... I took pictures, which will be up as soon as possible...but yes, very fun, very fun! Elmer did well on the trip too, and my sister loved him.
On the way back,today, freddy and i tried to play a game...but i didn't catch the rules...and this is what happened.
Freddy: man or woman? me:....(SIGH) woman!
Freddy: dead or alive? me:...(confused) a l i v e....?
(rules of the game)pick a person and the other person (freddy) asks twenty questions to guess who it is..
***i thought he was playing 20 questions where he asked me 20 questions about myself....
*overall, thanksgiving was very purple. the end
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: bathwater: no doubt
Tags: 3 weeks till christmas break!
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11:27 am
[Link] | I'm going home
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10:20 pm
[Link] | Tomorrow allison, freddy, and michael are all coming out to see me! i'm really excited, nervous and there's some more excitement! i ate some ice cream with stacy and sbisa with christina and zain and both helen's. i have class tomorrow, then i'll do some laundry, return a book, and wait like a nerdy reject for my friends to come.......
*i got an 86 on a film essay that i should've got a 60 on...i'm happy, go me!
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: feel good inc. :gorillaz
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04:46 pm
[Link] | today has been a slow day. in 3 days i'll be home. i'm really excited, and i can't wait. i really miss my mom and my sisters. i love turkey, so this only adds to my excitement.
the end
Current Mood: complacent
Current Music: evil: interpol
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03:06 pm
[Link] |
whatnot
This entry has nothing to do with my life. It really has no significance, except that its something that i thought about last night as i fell asleep. toothpaste.
The significance of toothpaste is over looked. In relationships, sharing one's toothpaste, thats a big deal. It could mean a number of things.
1. you really trust the person. What if they decided to hide the toothpaste, you would then have to go WITHOUT brushing your teeth, and thus you are affected by having bad breath.
2. this person means a lot to you. they have some control over your personal hygiene, and the odds are they have good hygiene as well. This is a relationship that could work.
3. the way someone squeezes toothpaste out. If you squeeze from the middle...you only think of yourself. Thats wasteful, what about the paste below the middle. IF someone squeezes from the end. They think of others and the long term. They can conserve toothpaste.
4. If you're sharing toothpaste, there's a good chance that that person stayed the night with you. Or, they ate garlic.
Toothpaste. It tells a lot about a relationship and a person. But it also means a lot to the family side too....but thats for another sleepless night....
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: i am the walrus: the beatles
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